I have decided that I am going to embark on a vow of silence. The only questions I will be answering are ones that clients pay me to answer. The only conversations I will be having are the ones in my head with my God, and absolutely necessary ones with my family or ones that are needed to keep my day-to-day life moving forward. It may last 2 minutes, it may last 200 years. I know that I absolutely, positively MUST step back from language. I will no longer be held responsible for "making" people FEEL certain feelings or emotions because of my words. I will no longer be held responsible for things that people hold against me and do not want to heal inside of themselves.
I am realizing - FULLY - that any conversations I have in my life right now are rarely authentic. I just THINK or wish they are. Some people around me lie to me. Some people around me want themselves to look a certain way and come from a place of ego. Some people around me take everything I say and twist it to fit into their belief system and get mad at me for it. Some people around me are stuck in the past and refuse to come out of it. I read this quote this morning:
There is no such thing as conversation. It is an illusion. There are intersecting monologues, that is all. ~Rebecca West (Cicily Maxwell Andrews), "The Harsh Voice," There Is No Conversation, 1935
I had an "AH HA" moment upon reading that quote. All of the above stated issues with conversations around me can be healed by me taking a vow of silence. I can learn - or re-learn - the proper use of language -- or not. Who knows...I may never speak again!!!!!
I guess why I'm posting all this is to ask for your support in my quest for clarity. I will be starting on Monday afternoon at 3 PM CST. I will still be blogging about my experiences but I will not be commenting or replying on Facebook or Twitter. Thanks ahead of time!
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