Authentic conversations......

Yesterday I made a phone call that was 10 years in the making.  From Point A to Point Z, someone wronged me GREATLY and it has taken me this long to forgive and prepare for the conversation that had to come as a result.  Yesterday was that day.  I made the call, heard her voice, hung up promptly.  I walked around, talked to myself and God, redialed, heard her voice, wanted to hang up.  I did not hang up.  I said her name.  I could go on and on however, I will not.  The bottom line is that I spoke my truth, and I listened to her truth.   Her truth is NOT my truth so my ego and fears and angers wanted to jump up to defend me.  I took lots of deep breaths and kept reminding myself of my tools and that I had a "center point" and to keep going there to that place of balance.  I stayed centered and balanced.  I only made one jab and for those that know me, you know that's HUGE!!!!  (grin)

The fact that I carried this around for ten years is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT my fault.  I wore it like a wet, wool blanket.  I realize now that I can choose to forgive at ANY time.  One day or one decade.  It's my choice.  I also realize that her truth is not my truth and never will be.  I also realize that my truth is something she has never been able to hear and, more than likely, will never be able to hear.  That does not matter any more.  I spoke my truth.  I did it in a calm manner with no intentions of anything other than to speak my truth.  I listened to her.  I was given the opportunity to say nine of the most important words I have ever said to that woman.  "I am sorry. Please forgive me.  I forgive you."   There is a part of Travis Tritt's song "No More Looking Over My Shoulder" that says:

I could chill a room with reasons why I would not give forgiveness
To the people who had selfishly left me a wounded soul
I kept dragging 'round those memories
Like a ball and chain behind me
Wonderin' why my troubles followed me wherever I would go
Oh, but one night, sick and tired of being sick and tired
I realized forgiveness was the only open road
I swear I heard those shackles snap
The moment that I took that path
I never have one time looked back since the morning I arose

I can relate to that song.  I am also grateful beyond words for the freedom that those nine words that I was able to say, out loud have now brought me.   So my friends, who do you have to forgive?  Of whom do you need to ask forgiveness?