Line of the Day...

I was reading for a fairly regular client today.  She is a wonderful person. She's highly educated. She's kind and giving. She also has one of the most negative attitudes I have ever encountered when it comes to her love life / romance. She sets up land mines for herself left and right.  She is a really good example to me.  Every time I read her, I am shown in yet another way how fear can prevent us from having so much good in our lives and relationships.  Today she was in a particularly argumentative mood.  I would answer her questions honestly and she would come back at me with some fear based reason why she thought that what I was saying was wrong. This went on and on and on and on and on .... so I finally said:

"You know you're arguing with everything I say today."  She responded with, "I am not!"

I love my job!  I love my clients!  I am thankful for the lessons that I learn while doing my job on a daily basis.

My Dad....

Today is my Dad's birthday.  Today is also the day that my Dad chose to leave this planet and go back to the Otherside.  I had to laugh that he waited one full hour  .... he was in the Eastern Time Zone of the USA at the time of his death.  He waited until 1:08 AM EST.  He wanted to make sure it was his birthday in Central Time too as that was the time zone where we grew up as children.  That is SOOO Daddy.

Yes, I can talk to people on the Otherside.  Yes, I can hear my Dad.  Yes, we have lots of conversations and he makes lots of cracks while I'm in conversations with other people.  It still is not easy knowing that his BODY is no longer on this planet.  He's still Daddy.  I still smell cigars and he still has his very wry sense of humor.  I miss the human being that was my Daddy on this earth.  I miss being able to hug him and smell his aftershave in my nostrils and sit with him and laugh with him. I am VERY grateful that I can still experience him in spirit form!!!!

The dead are always around us.  You hear them in the form of your own thoughts. You catch smells or sounds that make your mind instantly go to someone who has passed over.  You know that's them orchestrating all that, right?  I have a TON of "ghost" stories.  I bet you do too !!  I would love to hear some of your tales. Please share !!  I'll go first.

My adoptive mother died in 1978. We buried her on a Friday and on Saturday morning, I woke up and smelled bacon.  I heard Mom singing and pots and pans banging in the kitchen just like every morning.  She was cooking us breakfast.  I got up, washed my face, brushed my teeth and ran down the stairs. The whole time I was getting ready, I heard Mom.  I could smell the food.  I heard her singing and humming and heard the pots and pans the ENTIRE time. As I came around the foyer, I noticed the kitchen door was closed which was odd.  We never closed the kitchen door.  As soon as my hand landed on the doorknob and started to open the door, everything stopped.  When the door opened, there was the empty kitchen and I remember we buried Mom the day before.

Ok - your turn!  :)

Authentic conversations......

Yesterday I made a phone call that was 10 years in the making.  From Point A to Point Z, someone wronged me GREATLY and it has taken me this long to forgive and prepare for the conversation that had to come as a result.  Yesterday was that day.  I made the call, heard her voice, hung up promptly.  I walked around, talked to myself and God, redialed, heard her voice, wanted to hang up.  I did not hang up.  I said her name.  I could go on and on however, I will not.  The bottom line is that I spoke my truth, and I listened to her truth.   Her truth is NOT my truth so my ego and fears and angers wanted to jump up to defend me.  I took lots of deep breaths and kept reminding myself of my tools and that I had a "center point" and to keep going there to that place of balance.  I stayed centered and balanced.  I only made one jab and for those that know me, you know that's HUGE!!!!  (grin)

The fact that I carried this around for ten years is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT my fault.  I wore it like a wet, wool blanket.  I realize now that I can choose to forgive at ANY time.  One day or one decade.  It's my choice.  I also realize that her truth is not my truth and never will be.  I also realize that my truth is something she has never been able to hear and, more than likely, will never be able to hear.  That does not matter any more.  I spoke my truth.  I did it in a calm manner with no intentions of anything other than to speak my truth.  I listened to her.  I was given the opportunity to say nine of the most important words I have ever said to that woman.  "I am sorry. Please forgive me.  I forgive you."   There is a part of Travis Tritt's song "No More Looking Over My Shoulder" that says:

I could chill a room with reasons why I would not give forgiveness
To the people who had selfishly left me a wounded soul
I kept dragging 'round those memories
Like a ball and chain behind me
Wonderin' why my troubles followed me wherever I would go
Oh, but one night, sick and tired of being sick and tired
I realized forgiveness was the only open road
I swear I heard those shackles snap
The moment that I took that path
I never have one time looked back since the morning I arose

I can relate to that song.  I am also grateful beyond words for the freedom that those nine words that I was able to say, out loud have now brought me.   So my friends, who do you have to forgive?  Of whom do you need to ask forgiveness?